Sometimes I wonder about the goals we're working towards right now?? Sometimes they seem outrageously BOLD. I have this voice in the back of my head quietly saying things like, "What are you doing?? Who do you think you are?? And why do YOU think you can do this?? What makes you so sure that you'll succeed when so many have attempted & have been unsuccessful??" Or even, "How dare you even TRY??"
Crazy these conversations that we let go on inside of our heads. It's funny how quickly I start to answer those little voices back with things such as, "Why wouldn't I be able to do this?? Who else is going to do it for me?? Or even for my kids?? Who are you to tell me otherwise??"
We have some HEFTY goals at hand, but this time around has brought with it such overwhelming feelings of peace that this is what we're destined to do. This is our path we are taking and we will not falter. I'm in school full time here at Weber in the Pre-Pharmacy program. I'm getting all my pre-reqs done in preparation for the PCAT, which is the admissions exam to get into the College of Pharmacy at the U. This will take me two years to accomplish. I've been camping on the University of Utah site researching everything I possibly can in order to best prepare myself for when application time comes around. I'm so EXCITED!! Once I get into the 'U,' I'll be in the PharmD program for four years and receive my Doctor of Pharmacy degree. I'll decide then if I want to further my education or stick to a continuing research regimen for the betterment of prescriptions out there. We'll see.
Hoko's role in all this is so VITAL to the success of my schooling that I don't take him for granted one bit. His supportive role that he plays in holding down the fort while he's home & never complaining about my hours away in classes, studying & doing homework has brought me to the conclusion that we've both grown so much in our marriage. We've matured to the point where we're able to take such things on without letting LIFE get in the way. Instead, we're more quick to navigate our way through whatever life throws our way in order to stay the course. If that makes any sense. I've never been more fully at peace with the way my life is right now. And don't for one second get me wrong. . . . .I'm not at all trying to paint a picture of a PERFECT family life cause I do have my days when everything goes wrong, but I honestly do revel in the little things that this man does for me in order to keep me focused & on track. :D
Against all odds may be what comes to mind when looking from the outside in & seeing this struggling family of eight, going on nine, with daddy working full time (out of state mostly), mommy in school full time, four kids in school starting in August, two kids home with one making his/her debut in Oct, chores, homework, families, church & I'm sure this list can go on. But the only thing going through my head is why not US?? If not us, then someone else for sure will be doing it or has done it. So why not US?? :D And with that said, my anxieties ease up a little for the time being & I'm okay.