Overwhelmed

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling very overwhelmed as a wife, a mother, my calling in the Relief Society Presidency, and with school.  I felt like I came off such a spiritual high last semester that I couldn't maintain.  I didn't realize until recently that that's okay.  It's okay to be caught up in many spiritual experiences and then reach a point where that's not entirely your reality anymore.  It's probably not even realistic to stay caught up in a spiritual high for too long because we are bombarded with distractions of every sort.  The kids, school work, food, family, friends, exercise, social media, sleep, and the list goes on.  As normal as all these things are, they were feeling like major distractions to me and I was having such a hard time trying to find balance and create sanity in my life.  I felt like I was caught up in a mess of chaos. 

As I prayed for comfort and peace and direction to know what I need to be doing to get back on the strait and narrow path, I was amazed at how the Lord never changes His ways of teaching me.  It is precisely 'line upon line, precept upon precept.'  I learn best this way even though a lot of times in my life, I want to hurry up and get to the finish line, I learn when I am able to see all aspects and realize what the Lord is teaching me is patience and long suffering in all things.

No matter what I go through in life and no matter how overwhelmed I get, I never lose faith that things are happening on purpose.  I am where I am in my life because the Lord has placed those experiences in my life for my good.  Whether they don't feel like it at the time doesn't change the Lord's will and purpose for me going through it.

This reminds me of the Jaredite nation.  In the book of Ether, we learn about this people.  'Following the flood in Noah's day, many descendants of those who had been spared became wicked.  One group of people attempted to build a tower "whose top may reach heaven."  The story of the Jaredite nation began with the building of the Tower of Babel.  The Lord dealt with the widespread wickedness by confounding the common language and by scattering the people across the face of the earth.'  The people must've been overwhelmed with fear and confusion when this happened.  I love how the brother of Jared reacted to this:
 'The brother of Jared pled with the Lord to preserve the language of his worthy friends and family.  Demonstrating great faith and led by the hand of God, the brother of Jared was able to lead this group to another land.'   I have felt this same way lately.  Feeling overwhelmed in a world filled with so much wickedness has brought me to my knees several times.  I have prayed for peace and guidance in my life to know what I should do.  I am so grateful that the Lord continues to have mercy on me.  My relationship with Him and my Savior strengthens every time I am allowed to demonstrate my faith in His will for me. 

3Nephi

I have been very overwhelmed this week with everything I've been trying to juggle in my life. It's crazy cause the scriptures have been my escape goat and has provided me with so much peace of mind. 3Nephi is my favorite book in the Book of Mormon because of the Savior's visit to the Americas. In 3Nephi 17:2-3 he says:

2 I perceive that ye are weak, that ye cannot understand all my words which I am commanded of the Father to speak unto you at this time.

3 Therefore, go ye unto your homes, and ponder upon the things which I have said, and ask of the Father, in my name, that ye may understand, and prepare your minds for the morrow, and I come unto you again.

This is exactly how I've been feeling this week. I've been overwhelmed by the accounts in chapters 12-17, but I keep thirsting for more and have not wanted the spirit to leave me. I loved feeling the comforting hug from the Holy Ghost confirming to me the truth of these events. I've been continually pondering in my heart the events of my own personal life and have pled with the Lord to help me to align my will with His. My family is going through some really big changes and I want to be assured that they align with the Lord's plans for us because I know all too well the outcome we've had in the past when this was not so. I am completely reliant on the Lord this time around and am leaning wholeheartedly on Him to continue to lead and direct my husband and I in the affairs of our family. That's not always an easy thing. I am always praying that my husband's heart will be softened to be able to accept the will of the Lord as well. He and I have started praying together as husband and wife, separate from our family prayers with the kids. Our prayers are more personal and we are constantly pleading with the Lord to continue to guide us in our family affairs and to help us accept His will. In verses 4-5 when the Savior tells the Nephites that He has to go to His father for He has other sheep to show himself to and the people don't want Him to go, I completely fell apart and was filled with the spirit of the Lord. It's absolutely how I felt at that moment while reading my scriptures and as tired as I was, I wouldn't close them up or put them away because I didn't want my 'spiritual hug' to end. I felt that familiar feeling of missing my heavenly parents as well as my heavenly home and I was in tears, but I continued to thank my father in heaven for my life and the many opportunities afforded me in this mortal life. I am so grateful for the example the Savior set in blessing the children individually by name. How amazing is it that children are so loved by the Savior that angels came down and ministered to them. I held my children a little longer this week and a little tighter because I realized that they are so precious. They are the closest things to heaven that we have here on earth. I'm grateful for such a loving father in heaven who continues to teach me 'line upon line, precept upon precept.'  This is the best way to learn. The Lord's way. 

Attribute

In Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, an attribute is defined as an inherent characteristic or an object closely associated with or belonging to a specific person, thing, or office.  Also, a word ascribing a quality.

This past week, I've been fervently praying as to what attribute of Christ I need to work more on this semester.  Towards the latter end of last year, I chose to work on service.  I prayed for opportunities to serve those around me that the Lord would have me serve.  I prayed specifically to be able to recognize those opportunities when they presented themselves.  I have grown to love serving others.  I'm definitely not the best at it and am still easily distracted by many things, but I continue to actively look for opportunities to serve.  This year, I've felt prompted to work on being more selfless.  I've been reading in the Book Of Mormon.  Alma 30-35 to be specific.  There's a story in it about an anti-Christ (someone who doesn't believe in Jesus Christ) named, Korihor.  He goes about preaching to the people that there is no God.  He leads away a lot of people and is taken before the chief judges of the land because he is disturbing the peace and persecuting those that do believe in Christ.  I've read this story many times in the Book of Mormon and always thought of Korihor as annoying.  I didn't understand why he didn't leave the saints of God alone.  As much as he didn't believe in God, why did he feel the need to persecute those that believed in God?  I respect others' beliefs so I expect the same courtesy.  Well, my outlook on Korihor has changed.  After watching this video here and re-reading his story in the scriptures, I am now filled with compassion towards him and others like him.

As I watched how grieved Alma is with Korihor and how much he tries to persuade him of the error of his ways, I am filled with compassion towards Korihor because he let himself be deceived by Satan.  I was reminded of the Savior's parable about leaving the 99 sheep to look for the one that went astray.  This was such a perfect example and reminder to me of how perfect the Savior's love is.  How much He loves every single one of us that He paid the ultimate price for our ransom so that we can return to our father in heaven.  I am reminded of our father in heaven's complete love for us that He would give His only begotten son to atone for the sins of so many.  I am reminded daily of the love my father in heaven and Savior have for me personally that they continue to bless me with different people who I cross paths with that make a difference in my life.  Whether it be good or bad, I am always able to take away from the experiences in my life that help shape me into who I am supposed to become.
After re-watching this video and continuing in prayer on which attribute I need to work on this semester, I've come to realize that I need to work on being more selfless.  I need to forget myself and get to work.  Every worth of a soul is paramount in the eyes of the Lord.  He doesn't love those that keep His commandments more than those that don't.  The plan of salvation encompasses all who are willing to come unto Him and believe on His name.  There is only one name under heaven that man can be saved and that name belongs to our dear, beloved Savior, Jesus Christ.  In order to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord, I need to continually strive to be like the Savior.  Just like the Savior says in 3Nephi 27:27, "Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be?  Verily I say unto you, even as I am."  The most selfless man to walk this earth has made it very clear who we are to strive to become like in this earth life.