Ups, Downs & In-betweens. . . . .

This past weekend was amazing. I enjoyed the conference talks so much. I am definitely looking forward to next month's Ensign so I can go through all the talks once more cause I know that there's no way I got everything that was shared. I spent the weekend with my parents savoring every moment with these two people that gave me life. I am so thankful to have them so close. They fill a void in me that no one else can with Hoko working out of state. We ate such great home cooked meals that were prepared by my mom. And I do not take those things for granted especially since I haven't been able to do any of that with this pregnancy.

I noticed something today, tho. As I was reading through my daily updates on facebook, I was amazed at how many of my friends and family were experiencing such a hard day today. So many were filled with stress about different things going on in their lives. And even for me. . . . .I found myself trying EXTRA hard to be optimistic because of some things that happened today that weren't planned, but there seemed to be no way around it. And I thought to myself, WOW!! Satan is putting in some serious work for so many of my friends & families to be going through so much distress in their lives after such a great & uplifting weekend. And even ME. Different things from my past keep slowly surfacing & catching up with me. Today?? It was all my outstanding warrants from tickets that I let accumulate & add up. I took care of all FOUR of them today. Can you believe it?? Four outstanding warrants. The only thing standing between me & jail was this blessing I've been carrying around inside me for the past nine months. Had it not been for him, I would be sitting in a jail cell hoping to post bail for being irresponsible on my part & letting myself get caught up in the dilemma that I found myself in. These tickets are years old. Some dating back to when we only had three kids. We're now going on number seven. Ridiculous, right?? I know. SMH. . . . .so what suddenly brought on this sense of urgency in getting these things taken care of?? The fact that as we were driving home Thursday night after taking the girls to their dance practice & spending dinner at my mom's, I almost had a heart attack when I saw the flashing lights through my rear view mirror & it wasn't to pass me up. It was for me to pull over to the side of the freeway. I was terrified because I already knew about my tickets that I never took care of. He ran my info & came back asking me if I wanted to step out of the car so the kids wouldn't hear. I quickly obliged. He showed me my warrants & echoed my fears that if it weren't for me being so pregnant, he would be hauling me to jail. He let me off on a warning, which I am so grateful for, with a promise that I would get it taken care of.

As I was driving home with the kids, I felt so disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I almost ended up in jail because of my negligence in keeping the laws of the land. What kind of example am I setting for my kids?? What would've happened if I went to jail that night?? Hoko's not even in the same state as us right now. Am I seriously that selfish that I can place that kind of responsibility on my parents?? Cause I know they would've come & gotten the kids as well as did everything they could to get me out of jail. Yet, I have enough money sitting in my bank account to pay off these things & make things right with the law?? This was sounding more & more pathetic as all these thoughts were circulating in my head. I couldn't believe that I let it come to this. I made the decision that night that I would take care of all my tickets on Monday so I could re-instate my drivers license & not put my children in jeopardy ever again. I'm happy to report that I made all those payments today & have no outstanding warrants in my name anymore & I plan to keep it that way. Although, I have to wait til next week to re-instate my license due to one of my tickets being so old that it went to the state's collection department & they only update weekly, I have to say how grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for putting me in a position that I could take care of this matter. I won't even lie, tho. Hoko & I struggled with this all weekend long & even all day today because we had other plans for that money, but by the end of the day. . . .we were counting our blessings that we were in a position to get this ordeal taken care of.

Our beautiful blessings. They seriously make us who we are today. :D

Hoko gets home this Saturday & I can't wait to see him. It's always so hard being apart, but I must say that I'm even more excited that he'll be here to meet the brand new member of our family since I'll be getting induced this week. :D And while it's bitter sweet having him home for an uncertain amount of time, I'll hold steadfast to my faith in the Lord that he is mindful of my growing family & our needs & that we will be blessed with our needs being met, as they always are. In these tough economic times, I count my blessings that Hoko has a job. While it takes him out of state & far away from us, it provides for our financial well being while I am in school in pursuit of a career that will also help out & bring him home. I love him so much & am in awe of the kinds of sacrifices he continues to make for our family.

My husband. I will never be able to make the kinds of sacrifices he makes for our family. I love him!!

And while this weekend had it's ups, downs & in-betweens. . . .I'm hoping that we passed the test & can fully move forward with no regrets. :D