39 Weeks

I've been dilated to a two for going on three weeks now. It's crazy cause I usually dilate fast, but I guess not this time. I'm 39 weeks as of yesterday and if it weren't for my doctor's appointment scheduled in an hour, I would be pretty down. But I've been amazingly patient with this pregnancy and I know it has everything to do with Hoko not being here for this one. I've been back and forth about wanting him here so badly for the birth of our son while at the same time hoping that he's scheduled to start another project soon. We've both been quietly stressing about his current project coming to an end this week. The money we had put away for when he comes home to wait for another project to start up was spent yesterday to pay for all my outstanding warrants (see previous post) and has really been weighing heavily on us.

I woke up this morning at around 7 am and found that it was still dark out. Which means that winter is quickly approaching, as it always does. I love this time of year here in Utah. But with six, soon to be seven, kids in tow, that means jackets, snow boots, gloves, scarves and more socks are what's needed. And we haven't even gotten halloween costumes on top of all that. But I have a constant prayer in my heart that all will be well and that are needs will be met because my father in heaven has never let me down. The whole conference weekend, I kept having that scripture in my head about how the Lord takes care of the lilies in the field. How they grow without any effort, then why wouldn't he take care of us? His children that he loves and adores so much. I don't remember what scripture it is or if I got it from a talk, but it was a constant reminder to me of the principle of faith. How I need to increase my faith in the Lord and if I'm making sure that my family and I are doing everything in our power to live righteously and provide for ourselves and those around us, we will be blessed and taken care of. We will never go without. Our needs will always be met. There's definitely comfort in knowing that.

I'm so excited to be welcoming our baby #7 into the world. I can't wait to see how you look, your personality and sweet spirit that I get to enjoy nurturing. I love being your mother and you're not even here yet. Nothing can top that role in my life. I love you baby #7!! I don't know what your name is going to be yet. Grandma Selu has the honor of naming you so it's going to be a special one. I think daddy and I will throw in a middle name so that we can have somewhat of a part in your name. We're so happy that Heavenly Father is trusting us with your sweet little spirit. Our only hope is that we're able to fulfill our obligations in loving and raising you up to be a worthy priesthood holder in this not so easy world. My love for you will never waver as I know yours won't for me or your dad or your brothers and sisters that are waiting on this side of the veil to greet you. :D I love you :D